this is it

All these years, I've been positive and patient.
At times I didn't have a choice, at times I took the challenge. Always believing that there will be rainbow after the rain.
In every bad thing that happens, I look for and believe in the good. I may have nothing, but I've became a champion in my own virtues.
Thank God for the tough trainings, I've gained much understanding and maturity. I've learned to be humble.
Though this has been one of the worst year in my life, I've been strong. I complained and I whined. But I never wavered.
I lost my spirt, mind, body and soul. Everything I worked hard for has come to naught. Often thinking I'll just collapsed while walking or standing on the train, I pressed on.

I took every, single, shit, like, a, man. And now this.
I love and care for you. All your problems are mine, and I took it all. Every restriction and difficulty you have, I carried it. I didn't even realize I put you before myself.
Women say, the men don't get it. Have you ever hear me say, the women don't get it?
I don't got any strength to go on. You hurt me so bad with that message.
There is no reservoir left. Let me close my eyes and go to sleep.

I want to be negative.
I want to be weak.

I just want to cry.
Can I?