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Post # 2 - Drama

Even though dramas and conflicts aren't pleasant, yet they are the ones that spice up life. The world is constantly changing, and we choose how we react to these changes. Notice this word of wisdom: we choose how we react to these changes.

Even though sometimes we may be physically powerless to react to these changes and our minds are subjected to influences, we are the ones ultimately to make the choice. Tough I know.

Whats life without drama? If we choose to react negatively we end up hurting both us and the ones who love us. If we choose to run and avoid we end up not living at all. But if we choose to try and view the same thing from another perspective, we most probably will grow and move on.

Think about the last time you cut your finger. Yes it hurts no doubt, but looking back isn't it silly? Could it have been avoided? Maybe the scar is still around but you survived that cut and you learn at least where the nearest plaster is!

We all face mud in our lives. Some are dump into our face by others, others we choose to stick our foot in and it isn't nor will it be always pleasant.

I'm a blessed man and I know it. How cool it is to scale new heights and explore new ventures if we can think from another angle and see opportunities.

And I'm reminded: 1st Thess 5:18, go read yourself haha.

Post #1 - Work

Its been a great 1 month.

Lets look at what these people told me;

Shouzhen: alan, you're more responsible now le
Elisha: its good to see that you're working hard now
Jessie Sietho (boss!): did you feel that you've grown after this project?

I'm so encouraged. Even though I wasn't certain about taking on this job, I'm determined to challenge my excuses and set new discipline heights for myself.

I struggled a lot during my first 2 weeks. Though I made mistakes today even when I hasnt been for awhile, work is still pleasant. I almost went crazy initially until I started playing 'free' in my mind. Since then songs have been playing randomly in my mind, with the latest hits being 'reason I live'.

Apparently work has gotten into me. Instead of surfing the 3 blogs that I do every night, logging into my work mail account has been added to that list! When I saw the mail from this guy in UK updated status on the project that are positive, I was soooo EXCITED! The fruits of our labor are starting to pay off and we'll be seeing the results soon!

Thanks. You're awesome.

Responsibilities

Quote #3:
Maturity is the acceptance of responsibilities.

I've stopped receiving allowance from my parents as of today. Whichever endeavor I'll embark on, be it further studies, marriage, I'm determined to earn my keep. I've also taken on new roles, to provide allowance, pay my bills and transportations.

These 3 months has been fruitful for me. I've learned to take on responsibilities and not squirm my way through like I did. I'm still facing and work on many of my character flaws and to keep my word each day. At the same time, I've grown to make a stand and stick with my priorities. Some sacrifices gotta go to fulfill whats important. Falter is often used too much.

I remembering telling my boss on my first day at work, "19 year old boy dont like responsibilities".

Church

Posting about church isn't my style. But God is so amazing.

Event #1:
A few weeks ago I was just telling shouzhen that worship atmosphere is bleak and stale. Since then I had a dream. Around 1 week later we were both agreeing that something is changing.

Worship last Sunday was totally different, I was so amazed by the response from people that was similar to the dream that I had mentioned above. I'm reminded during last Saturday night.

Event #2:
For some reason, I sense something very very strong, yet vulnerable in Martin 2 weeks ago. Perhaps something is bonding him, and that he needs to break away with some rubbish in his life. I went home last Sunday, with my lips wording 'break break break'

Last Sunday, he responsed to the altar call, and I sense God is changing his heart. In good time.

Event #3:
I'm to prepare for worship this Friday. For some reason I wanted everyone to stand but I just cant think of a plan or get them to stand. Surprisingly, there was a change of schedule, and everyone was standing when I began.

And worship was much much more explosive than I imagined, and totally different from what we had every week. Thanks.

Event #4:
I didn't gave up reading 'doing church as a team' even though I only read 1 chapter this week. Initially I was rather disappointed by people in cell, and I doubted we could ever make it as a team.

This friday, I saw at last what it means to be a team. Everyone must desire to grow together, and work on it. Initially I thought I was to be the hero to build a new generation, I was wrong. We build each other to be the next generation, that makes a team.

Event #5:
Its amazing when your heart is excited for something and you see it unfolds in your eyes.
I'm reminded once again that God is ever changing, and He's building and growing us each day to be the Man He wants us to be. I'm very thankful for the seasons, that I'm learning and seeing something new each season.

The lesson for the new season, 'Dreams and Perseverance'

PS: I didnt narrate all the amazing things that happened in my life, want to know more? ask me hahaha.

Office

My office is empty, at least for the next 3 days. Everyone else is out for some conference in Bali save me and another girl! She's married drop the idea!

I have to take care of the office, and lock the doors at night, in case someone finds a pass and sneak in.

So for the next 3 days, we own the office.

I'm told that there are many hidden visitors here that I don't even know exist! Stop hiding you
cowards!

I might sign up for windsurfing next saturday! Excited!

peace

torn in a constant struggle between the innocence of a boy, and the responsibilities of a man

Her toes are blushing

God uses injuries to attract our attention.

Sometimes I really think that my optimism can be destructive. I was too playful, and got my fingers injured in a ropeburn. All my scars are attached with memories. Its not foreign for man to feel that life is colorless and without excitement. Injuries and scars occur to help us learn and remember certain moments better. They also brings excitement and drama, exhibit character and test the authenticity of relationships. It seems foolish when the scars are raw, but we often find fun and memories in the same scars as we look back at them in the future.

Silly stunts is also what many of my friends remember me for. They remember me doing the impossible, getting out of every situation unscathed, laughing and smiling at the new experience. I give people the shocks of their lives as well as surprises. Although I don't like to get hurt, I like influencing people and making impacts in others life.

I'm reminded that I'm very fortunate and blessed.

My fingers are labelled shou zhen.

You

Never knew we would have so many traits in common.

We're friendly and sociable.
We're innocent (dont waste time being complicated).
We love our friends and families.
We can be wilful and ignore what people say.
We go for what we want, never looking back.
We love arts and music.
We love food.
We don't like to bother others, and try to be independent.
We ask questions.
We love long bus/train rides (esp when its cold and vacant).
Etc etc.

Sorry, if you don't see me online tonight, please sleep early cause I've already turned in. I'm sick. You rest early too, nite.

Time?

This is crazy. I left office and 9:25pm today, and I've got an email to reply to before I sleep! There's so many things I wana do this holiday but I cant find the time to. I hardly have 30mins to eat lunch now!

Things I wana do this holiday:
- windsurf
- chill out at rendang
- finish my book 'doing church as a team'
- learn keyboard AND guitar
- get certified as a lifeguard
- evaluate my life for the past 3 months!
- get a job!
- work on my languages and future plans

There's sooo much more stuff I wana do but I don't have the time to. Maybe I should quit this and get moving! I need a rest hahaa.

One more thing

I never have a clear understanding of how to build character and plans to do it when I came back to church. I've made stands, for I know compromises do have serious concealed consequences. Once again I'm reminded to be careful;
thoughts + actions + habits + words = character.

Quote #2

Character is not made in crisis, it is only exhibited.

Its been a tiring and stretching week for me. Looking back, I realised I've made many stands. Choosing to stand in firm in my finance and time, I've learned to say no. At the same time I've made blunders at work, lost myself in time and made many silly mistakes. I'm beginning to doubt, what I'm learning and doing lately is wise and if drawing close to you is harming you. He hasnt been speaking clear direct messages into my life lately, but my body is sending a crystal clear message to me today; fatigue. I'm feeling sick.

Quote #1

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Focus

Its been a long tiring week. For the first time this year, I was unnerved and panicked. I still cant believe I was caught up over so many things that are unneccessary and could be prevented. Even now I'm still trying to unload rubbish from my mind.

Give me peace and a clear mind. Help me be effective and focused. I need to rest.

The importance of savings

Some random thoughts on my way home.

If i save 500 for the next three months:
500 * 3 = 1500

If i save 100 a month in NS:
100 * 24 = 2400

I'll be or turning 22 after NS. Assuming I get a job and save 500 a month for 3 years:
500 * 12 * 3 = 18000

When I turn 25 I would have:
1500 + 2400 + 18000 = 21900

Which means I would barely have enough to hold a banquet and get married! Thats an overrated figure excluding family responsibilities etc etc. No wonder Cheryl says I should start planning for marriage. ahahha

Manage

"Now you gotta manage your time, finance and talents carefully" Caijie said.

I certainly did not paid much attention to that until lately, when I find myself busy and these resources becoming scarce.

Time
I'm getting so busy I hardly have anytime for myself since the end of the last semester. Gotta find more time to rest to be able to perform at work! At the same time, people and events are trying to find their way into my schedule. Its time I learn to say 'no, see you again another day'.

Finance
Apparently, if I want to get married between 25-30, I gotta start saving up before the responsibilities start piling up after NS. Qb suggested an effective way to prevent me from developing a spendthrift habit, that is to save half of my allowance/salary. Perhaps I should open another account to deposit my salary. If I have a card access to my finance, they're in deep trouble.

Live

I wanted to tell you how much I hated working. Yet I know character is chiselled under fire and I'll take it as a learning experience. I was determined. And I tried to work hard diligently to pick up as much as I could, without any clear direction. I got lost.

Was it wednesday? As if it was some divine assurance I picked up "God's little instruction book for students" and the first page I flipped went:
'Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.

For when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don't try to squirm out of your problems. James 1 3:4'

I'm transiting to another season, a season revisited. The signs are the same; anxiety, too smart for my own good, too arrogant, talked too much rubbish, even friends point to the same issue. Once my peak christian life, and also when I fell the hardest. I'm learning to live and not carried away by pride. Each day, each step. Trying.

The exposure from work fuels me. To acknowledge that I know nothing keeps me humble. On a second thought, I love the pain, its for my own good.

So there you go. I got it off my chest - I love my job.

Anyway shouzhen, yay for getting those grades! you made me smile like crazy hahaaa.

So, how do i prepare chicken in white wine n cream sauce?